3 Love Hate Shadormas


i.
Love hates hate
Its bland recipe
Feeding the
Feelings more
Hate makes bitter the vision
Love is a strong salt

ii.
Hate hates love
Sour mash spoiled
Sting on tongue
Stinging eyes
The tears flow from swollen ducts
Soul in empty pain

iii.
Make hate love
Bend your mind to will
Sun burns off
Foggy lake
Blinding light set upon sight
Tasty smile cast loose


M.D. Jordan, 2011

3 Shadow Shadormas

i.

The shadow
In tow its black mass
Followed me
Constant watch
With intrepid care complete
A friend bound on ground

ii.

Shadows grow
In topsy-turvy
Air gone by
Unchained not
Stuck in its own stale breath
Takes two to complete

iii.

It grows wide
To encompass paths
Bound by step
Loose on ground
What follows must someday lead
Shadows live for man



M. D. Jordan, 2011

Three Fate Shadormas

i.

Spinning life
We can think we are
Born to love
Born to hate
No matter what we create
Disregard blind fate


ii.

Leaves in cup
A bull made form once
Dismay struck
Was it good?
I shook the cup timidly
Fate would have control


iii.

Fate ran haste
The table set once
made empty
No one came
Granddad struck the sound of time
Quietly rewind


M. D. Jordan, 2011

confusion: (profitability & rebellion)



confusion of values
starts the rebellion.

citizens can be expected
to lay blame on the past.

or.

the elaborate new financial deceptions
of the corporate entity
(a fictional person).

but no culprits can be held
in the desire for old
testament justice.

it’s a long running degradation,
corporations too big to prosecute,
punishment too thin
to limit economic damage.

the morality of the market
defines crime as the price
rather than the punishment,
an amoral need to maximize
a thin veneer of responsibility.

villains cannot be located
by the system,
prosecutions are dropped,
the cash prize
at the end of the rainbow.

gone.

profitability of illegal activity
far exceeds the cost of penalty.

under a façade of enforcement,
personal liability is attached
to you & I.

criminal intent not established,
the disturbing spectacle
does not limit damage
but causes fallout & crimes
of torture, seen by
people on guided tours.

confusion over.

the deep conflict of values
starts the continuation
of the status quo,
no culprits to be held,
a rebellion for the bloodless.


M. D. Jordan, 2011

Mostly in Movies



we go to see what we aren’t.
movies are deceiving.

we are the object
the movie is watching.

the theater is in control,
giving us what we need
in tiny slices,
a temporary womb
for the senses.

for hours, dumbstruck
we are watched, stuck
in a life so different
we think it is real
& reality doesn’t exist.

when the show lets us,
we go home
mouths shut, minds agape
to sit on our little couches
& large asses.

waiting. staring.

we wait for the movie
to give us our lives.
but it all ends up
mundane.

life. stuck.

living is like watching
grass grow at a feverous pitch
& the dots never come
to indicate where the reel gets changed.



Mark David Jordan, 2011

(for those who remember when, there used to be large dots that would appear on a movie's right side to indicate to the projectionist when to begin the next reel of film so that to the viewer there would be no pause. Watch for this during old movies)

this: (the thing you do)

things are not this way
     or that.

things are what we
     make of them.

or.

what they make of us.

that thing you do
     is the same
as the thing I do
     just done differently.

when you are the one
     doing the thing
you are not the one
     examining it.

so the thing you do
     is not
the thing seen.

but the importance
     of the thing
is that it exists
     & not how it is viewed.

things are not this way
     or that.

things are.


Mark David Jordan, 2011
Speaking is overrated and sometimes even traumatic to me.  This is why I like poetry.  I am not a person who likes to speak a lot (very introverted), but with poetry I feel and hear the words more like sensations on the senses rather than a form of everyday verbal communication.  Poetry goes so much deeper. 

the shelves are empty: (cash is crap)



extortionist ass holes
crap out trillions
in hoarded cash,
a tax loop hole
as our infrastructure erodes.
this is knee deep &
the shelves are empty
of boots.

our government
if it is
plunges into debt,
the wealth being stripped away
in an unprovoked assault
on the working people
or the people who work.

we are starved for funds,
we are starved for equality,
we are in this
deepening economic inequality.
we are drowning
in piled valueless emotions.

wealth transfer
through corporate rollbacks
predatory lending
to daycare centers,
to senior citizen facilities.
extortionist policies of banks
show the destructive power
of corporate greed.

working harder
working more
earning less
erodes our families into
progressive social movements
forcing
political marginalization
of the majority.
No money for essential
human services.

it is the cusp
of a great movement
to stuff cash
under the mattress
to roll out the rotted cot
& cook over a fire
& watch our kids
play on the mountainous load,
hard amassing cash
released from the ass holes
of bygone extortionists.


Mark David Jordan, 2011

daisy: (a modern perception)


I took the poem "Daisy" by Francis Thompson and kept every other line. I then modified the poem slightly to read better and came up with this new modified poem. It came out pretty interesting and is on the verge of some deep meaning.

 

daisy: (a modern perception)
(From the original poem “Daisy” By Francis Thompson)

where the thistle lifts a purple crown
& the harebell shakes on the windy hill,
the hills look over on the South
in concert with the sea-breeze hand in hand.

where mid the gorse the raspberry grow
2 children did we stray & talk.
she listened with big-lipped surprise,
her skin like a grape with veins.

she knew not those sweet words she spoke,
but there was never a bird, so sweet a song.
oh, there were flowers in Storrington
but the sweetest flower here on Sussex hill.

her beauty smoothed earth's furrowed face.
a look, a word of her winsome mouth,
a berry red, a guileless look,
& yet they made my wild, wild heart calm.

for standing artless as the air,
she picked some berries with her hand,
the fairest things have fleetest end,
but the rose's scent is bitterness.

she looked a little wistfully,
the sea's eye had a mist on it,
she went her unremembering way,
the pang of all the partings gone.

she left me marveling at my soul
at all the sadness in the sweet,
still, still I seemed to see her, still
& take the berries from her hand.

nothing begins, & nothing ends,
for we are born in other's pain.

Copied & Modified by Mark David Jordan, 2011
DAISY
By Francis Thompson


Where the thistle lifts a purple crown
     Six foot out of the turf,
And the harebell shakes on the windy hill--
     O breath of the distant surf!--

The hills look over on the South,
     And southward dreams the sea;
And with the sea-breeze hand in hand
     Came innocence and she.

Where 'mid the gorse the raspberry
     Red for the gatherer springs;
Two children did we stray and talk
     Wise, idle, childish things.

She listened with big-lipped surprise,
     Breast-deep 'mid flower and spine:
Her skin was like a grape whose veins
     Run snow instead of wine.

She knew not those sweet words she spake,
     Nor knew her own sweet way;
But there's never a bird, so sweet a song
     Thronged in whose throat all day.

Oh, there were flowers in Storrington
     On the turf and on the spray;
But the sweetest flower on Sussex hills
     Was the Daisy-flower that day!

Her beauty smoothed earth's furrowed face.
     She gave me tokens three:--
A look, a word of her winsome mouth,
     And a wild raspberry.

A berry red, a guileless look,
     A still word,--strings of sand!
And yet they made my wild, wild heart
     Fly down to her little hand.

For standing artless as the air,
     And candid as the skies,
She took the berries with her hand,
     And the love with her sweet eyes.

The fairest things have fleetest end,
     Their scent survives their close:
But the rose's scent is bitterness
     To him that loved the rose.

She looked a little wistfully,
     Then went her sunshine way:--
The sea's eye had a mist on it,
     And the leaves fell from the day.

She went her unremembering way,
     She went and left in me
The pang of all the partings gone,
     And partings yet to be.

She left me marvelling why my soul
     Was sad that she was glad;
At all the sadness in the sweet,
     The sweetness in the sad.

Still, still I seemed to see her, still
     Look up with soft replies,
And take the berries with her hand,
     And the love with her lovely eyes.

Nothing begins, and nothing ends,
     That is not paid with moan,
For we are born in other's pain,
     And perish in our own.

monkeys create money: (pollution matters)



there is happy talk in public
about monkeys,
adapting their behavior,
adapting their physiology
for the business model.

money pollution matters.
when the haze clears temporarily
we can actually see the sun
but avoid celebrating
until our penises
are hidden.

monster companies
are pumping money pollution
as we pump our girlfriends
without any real action taken
like dumping hazardous waste.

volunteers
you must stand up & be counted
& be prepared
for the incipient rebellion
or remain on this
artificial life support.

once the leak was made public
the air cleared
& the monkey trial began,
the top monkey
called in to offer
her personal thanks.

are we prepared
to cope with just
how differently they do think?
we shall know them
by their deeds &
not where the money went.

obscured by a different kind
of clear air
happy talk in public
does what it does
with a twist.
steal your daughters away
to cleaner air
before it’s too late.


Mark David Jordan, 2011

BEFORE
By William Ernest Henley


Behold me waiting--waiting for the knife.
A little while, and at a leap I storm
The thick sweet mystery of chloroform,
The drunken dark, the little death-in-life.
The gods are good to me: I have no wife,
No innocent child, to think of as I near
The fateful minute; nothing all-too dear
Unmans me for my bout of passive strife.

Yet I am tremulous and a trifle sick,
And, face to face with chance, I shrink a little:
My hopes are strong, my will is something weak.
Here comes the basket? Thank you. I am ready
But, gentlemen my porters, life is brittle:
You carry Caesar and his fortunes--Steady!

it squeezes: (too tired)



i will sit hard
until the end.
outside in back i shot
at a garbage can but missed.

yesterday i practiced
setting my chair on fire.
everything is a sign.

i sit all day in my day pajamas
phone torn from the wall
too tired to kill my friends
ripping them up
i could delete them forever.

before they all found jesus
there was a lot to discuss
now i am pumped with drugs
unable to move.

jesus freaks
it squeezes hard
trying to pull me
but I will fight until the end
not wanting to be alone.

if i don’t get out
i will explode
but i called in sick again
& fell against my green plaid couch
rambling missives from strangers
with a lot to discuss
in my head.

each day in this shrinking self
psych ward seems shorter
but i am so tried
too tired to move
the dresser from in front
of the door.

arming myself against them
all of them
if i don’t get out
i will implode.


Mark David Jordan, 2011
LAUGHING SONG
By William Blake

When the green woods laugh with the voice of joy,
And the dimpling stream runs laughing by;
When the air does laugh with our merry wit,
And the green hill laughs with the noise of it;

When the meadows laugh with lively green,
And the grasshopper laughs in the merry scene,
When Mary and Susan and Emily
With their sweet round mouths sing "Ha, ha he!"

When the painted birds laugh in the shade,
Where our table with cherries and nuts is spread:
Come live, and be merry, and join with me,
To sing the sweet chorus of "Ha, ha, he!"

get your guns: (& mothers)

 
 
get your guns
little children vandals
have shot toy arrows
through our windows
(& open doors)

provoked by an order
(remotely given)
to give out our mothers
telephone numbers
& christian zealots

the paper read:
the bosom of christian america
was roasted alive
in a fiery crash
(along with its deeper soul)

equally reluctant
to take on the issues
the ignored groups
were seized in their locker rooms
(& torn to pieces)
in this war of attrition

in the background could be heard
automatic gun fire
it was absolutely imperative
even though it created
a cruel odyssey
(& front line)

what are you
if you cannot portray
the role
of a suspected terrorist
against the asymmetrical struggle
inconvenient to the majority

imperial power was the only truth
the legions knew
as they were getting their guns
ready for a psychotic demonstration
of that power

messages imprinted
(with coded references)
it was a secret
how they established the

movements
of spiritual multiplication
zealots confined to the streets
the figures are probably higher
(even though denied)

reluctant to take on the issue
we can only hope
they go away one day
unprovoked and confined
to their own
(closet space)

subverting without impunity
there is truth
in imperial power


Mark David Jordan, 2011

that is empty air: (warm)

 
 
the mass mailing of cells
has not reached the people
(yet).

a storm of wills (or lies)
delayed the final delivery
& the people
received empty boxes
in the mail. mine again sits
at the doorstep.

i look out the window
& the steam is getting wider,
empty intellectuals
continue to shuffle past
as plaster-faced zombies
(& spies). they smile.

the tv behind me
beleaguerly broadcasts condolences
to the collective conscience
(who lost one of
its members today)

a tele-evangelist yells
mocking me & awakening
my hypnagogic thoughts
“cells have been lost,
the people will never be free,
send money.”

behind my cold curtain
peeking
i contemplate my own fate
to continue staring
a mind lost to its own freedom
or leave
the front door stands open
to receive another,
dried blood stain.

that is warm air.
the people are
dumbfounded & delighted
the cells have not reached them
(yet).


Mark David Jordan, 2011

edge of: (the dark closet)

 
 
we can go to extremes
but not be extreme in our self.
(beginning does not always need
the benefit of end)

better we pretend you are smoking
     as we drive by you
on the corner, steam rising from
the city.

better we pretend we know you
     as we watch your
moves on 10th floor from
the window.

better we pretend you are red
     as we pictured you last night
even though black is the color of
the hair.

we can go to extremes
but not be extreme in our self.
(green does not always need
the benefit of red)

better we pretend you are clothed
     as we watch you on TV
stripped naked and let out into
the night.

better we pretend
     your sex smells sweet
as we see you walk by from
the roof’s edge.

better we pretend
     your life is lonely
as we whisper to you quietly from
the dark closet.

we can go to extremes
but not be extreme in our self.
(sound does not always need
the benefit of air)


Mark David Jordan, 2011

light: (deflowered the i)

in my own time
i departed
in the best of conditions
& sought refuge in a wood
where light always entered
peacefully to me
through trees,
(the top was not visible).

here were the stones
one each i left in
remembrance of the
sins i bought from
this very spot
& deflowered the i
& them.

i lay down
in the soggy
half-green used carpet
& rolled around
dirtying
my clothes & thoughts
in defiance.

i wiped moldy leaves into
my face
& head
to clean the 2nd life
away.
i shoved rocks down my pants
& sticks up my pant legs
so my appendages were heavy
with sweat & stiffness.

this was me, stains
blending in with my
flesh,
i threw up my hands full of
new earth & it descended
into my eyes,
the pain (unbearable).

prostrate in the dirt
i ground my selfishness
down deep until
i felt my smallness
fuck the Earth &
it fucked back.

together with the soil
& freedom the sun
warmed my face when i
rolled overlaid
the packed stillness
white with dirt,
this was the warmth i
envied, the beast quenched.

i found refuge in these woods
where light blinded me.

Mark David Jordan, 2011

the silent i

 
 
death is a murderer
& is under contract to life
for this purpose.

i lay under a blanket
prepared between 2 chairs
&
it was a silent i.

mouthing the words
“i am alone”
no sound was heard
in this
thick space
i was busy
traveling to a far away planet
where i would be in charge
of rebuilding.

i conversed with those
ahead & behind
into thin airways dark
overcast with hope
baggage had slowed them
within earshot.

my own sounds were at peace
in the green,
a glowing cast from
the overhanging blanket
in this, an amplified theater
meant for only i.

i was the me who
was cast aside
from a shadow
less body more
part of a hidden psyche.

i cut my hands off
&
let them to others
falling into my lap,
i was the i who was
motionless
&
at the edge of desire.

the future whispered
in my ear being upon
me attacking i
without movement,
a puppet with no strings,
this was an epic battle.

i could end the i that
was now with a
slow drip of breath
or
let the lived life
take me slowly,
either way i was
the suicide
like drinking in death
with shots of vodka
or water.

death is a murderer
& is under contract to life
for this purpose.


Mark David Jordan, 2011

on the Sea: (a dry slab)

 
 
i liked the dry slab of meat on bread
you fixed me for lunch.

i woke from a dream
i was swimming in a sea.
it was just a few minutes
before the alarm was to go off.
that anger at having lost
3 minutes of slumber.
i couldn’t get back to sleep now
since i was trying
too hard
to get back to sleep quickly.
my body was living now & i
was entering the sea
of perpetual real life,
crawling up from the depths
in a bubble filled cage,
the translucence pressing
hard against my head.

i lay there awhile, then
pressed the damn off button.
i lay there more until you yelled
"are you going to work today?"
yes i'm going to work baby,
this is the fucking sea, it's what i do,
an expert swimmer in a sea of crap.

right now i'm in a cool pond.
the sheets feel milky
against my finger tips.
i'm safe under the sheets.
the pillow is a life vest.
i am floating softly.
i'm floating away to where
the pond meets the stream
which meets the river
which meets the bay
which meets the sea.

there, i am in the sea now,
not knowing how i got here.
i'm an expert swimmer bobbing
on the heavy putrid waves.

i liked the dry slab of meat on bread
you fixed me for lunch today.


Mark David Jordan, 2011
GOING AND STAYING
 By Thomas Hardy

The moving sun-shapes on the spray,
The sparkles where the brook was flowing,
Pink faces, plightings, moonlit May,--
These were the things we wished would stay;
       But they were going.

Seasons of blankness as of snow,
The silent bleed of a world decaying,
The moan of multitudes in woe,--
These were the things we wished would go;
       But they were staying.

the pause: (an accident)

 
 
for fuck's sake. i pause.
i accidently hit the off
instead of the snooze,
now i'm late for work.
     -i pause again.

my eyes blinked twice,
     -is this saturday?
why is the sun up?
     -i was just wandering
     a creepy house. not now.

now i am born again
into this light on the ceiling,
and the racket of a car
outside,
     -diesel engine starting.

this is a fresh confusion,
dizziness the ruler of thought.
i suck on my yesterday jeans
and my feet slide,
     -please stop them,
to the bathroom exigently.

what is this place?
who has built this
around me      -for me?
it is cruel that I am, i am
imprisoned in this mad space.

i should be more alive,
but this forced entry
into the objective world has
dampened my grey spirits,
     -to the benefit
     of a tick toward death.

i'm pushed downstairs
by an immovable force.
i'm forced through the routine
by intermittent habit.

my right hand grabs lunch /
my left the car keys.
my feet are dancing around
in unnecessary circles
     -in the kitchen.

i'm out the door,
heading down the road.
who are these people?
this is not the same traffic.
in a brief moment of cognition
i see i am shirtless.


Mark David Jordan, 2011

little Spaces: (little disasters)

 
 
My life &
a history
of small disasters
predicted on cue,
are one in the same.

Not born into disaster
(but born for them)
I was pre-trained to
fill

my own little spaces
with destinies
of cerebral importance.

Those little things
made up the whole
of my
life, a page,
or group of pages
     -unsorted to most.

I was the hero
of every personal story
     -and the villain in most.
Pre-written pages
that hung
from old trees
     -on old branches
never dropping off
in the
fall.

I cried,
every time a page
was torn down
by the wind
     -and I stared
once again
     -at a blank page,
instructions written
in invisible ink.


Mark David Jordan, 2011
DANTE
 By Walter Savage Landor


   Ere blasts from northern lands
Had covered Italy with barren sands,
   Rome's Genius, smitten sore,
Wail'd on the Danube, and was heard no more.
   Centuries twice seven had past
And crush'd Etruria rais'd her head at last.
   A mightier Power she saw,
Poet and prophet, give three worlds the law.
   When Dante's strength arose
Fraud met aghast the boldest of her foes;
   Religion, sick to death,
Look'd doubtful up, and drew in pain her breath.
   Both to one grave are gone;
Alters still smoke, still is the God unknown.
   Haste, whoso from above
Comest with purer fire and larger love,
   Quenchest the Stygian torch,
And leadest from the _Garden_ and the _Porch_,
   Where gales breathe fresh and free,
And where a Grace is call'd a Charity,
   To Him, the God of peace,
Who bids all discord in his household cease--
   Bids it, and bids again,
But to the purple-vested speaks in vain.
   Crying, 'Can this be borne?'
The consecrated wine-skins creak with scorn;
   While, leaving tumult there,
To quiet idols young and old repair,
   In places where is light
To lighten day--and dark to darken night.
ANIMA MUNDI
 BY Richard Moncton Milnes


"Anima Mundi"--of thyself existing,
Without diversity or change to fear,
Say, has this life to which we cling persisting,
Part in communion with thy steadfast sphere?
Does thy serene eternity sublime
Embrace the slaves of Circumstance and Time?

Could we remain continually content
To heap fresh pleasure on the coming day,
Could we rest happy in the sole intent
To make the hours more graceful or more gay,
Then must the essence of our nature be
That of the beasts that perish, not of Thee.

But if we mourn, not because time is fleeting,
Not because life is short and some die young,
But because parting ever follows meeting;
And, while our hearts with constant loss are wrung,
Our minds are tossed in doubt from sea to sea,
Then may we claim community with thee.

We cannot live by instincts--forced to let
To-morrow's wave obliterate our to-day--
See faces only once--read and forget--
Behold Truth's rays prismatically play
About our mortal eye and never shine
In one white daylight, simple and divine.

We would erect some thought the world above,
And dwell in it for ever--we make
Some moment of young Friendship or First-love
Into a dream, from which we would not wake;
We would contrast our action with repose,
Like the deep stream that widens as it flows.

We would be somewise as Thou art,
Not sprig, and bud, and flower, and fade and fall;
Not fix our intellects on some scant part
Of Nature, but enjoy or feel it all.
We would assert the privilege of a soul,
In that it knows--to understand the Whole.

If such things are within us--God is good--
And flight is destined for the callow wing,
And the high appetite implies the food,
And souls must reach the level whence they spring;
O Life of very Life! set free our Powers,
Hasten the travail of the yearning hours.

Thou! to whom old Philosophy bent low,
To the wise few mysteriously revealed;
Thou! whom each humble Christian worships now,
In the poor hamlet and the open field;
Once an Idea--new Comforter and Friend,
Hope of the human Heart! Descend! Descend!

Yesterday: (we forgot the future)

 
 
At 6:00 PM they went
to the edge of the cliff
and threw his body off
into the open sea.

After watching it drift away
then sink, they walked
back to the village and resumed

where they had left off
baking bread, weaving baskets
talking about children.

They never mentioned the man
thrown into the sea again,
did not honor him with dinner,
did not hang icons up
where he had Passed away.

Life went on
as it always had
and the people were
caught up in their
every day existence
as they always were.

The next day at 6:00 AM
a strong wind arose
and blew all the town's wheat harvest
into the air,
down over the cliff
and into the open sea.

The people watched in shock.
"Surely we will all starve to death now",
they thought, "as this
has never happened before".

They watched the wheat
float away And sink
into the depths of the water
against a volcanic rock.
There Fish nibbled on the remains
of a man washed out to sea
yesterday.


Mark David Jordan, 2011
Perhaps this is a bit of plagiarism but sometimes it is fun to take various lines from an old poem and come up with a new poem.  Give it a try.  I took the first lines from each stanza of "WHY THIS LONGING" by Charles MacKay to make this one.

Why this longing, clay-clad spirit?
With the roar of wintry forests,
thou wouldst fathom Life and Being.
With thy feeble logic tracing,
be contented with thy freedom
clogged and bedded in the darkness.
Cease thy struggling, feeble spirit!
WHY THIS LONGING?
 By Charles MacKay 

    Why this longing, clay-clad spirit?
      Why this fluttering of thy wings?
    Why this striving to discover
      Hidden and transcendent things?
    Be contented in thy prison,
      Thy captivity shall cease--
    Taste the good that smiles before thee;
      Restless spirit, be at peace!

    With the roar of wintry forests,
      With the thunder's crash and roll,
    With the rush of stormy water,
      Thou wouldst sympathize, O soul!
    Thou wouldst ask them mighty questions
      In a language of their own,
    Untranslatable to mortals,
      Yet not utterly unknown.

    Thou wouldst fathom Life and Being,
      Thou wouldst see through Birth and Death,
    Thou wouldst solve the eternal riddle--
      Thou a speck, a ray, a breath,
    Thou wouldst look at stars and systems,
      As if _thou_ couldst understand
    All the harmonies of Nature,
      Struck by an Almighty hand.

    With thy feeble logic, tracing
      Upward from effect to cause,
    Thou art foiled by Nature's barriers,
      And the limits of her laws.
    Be at peace, thou struggling spirit!
      Great Eternity denies
    The unfolding of its secrets
      In the circle of thine eyes.

    Be contented with thy freedom--
      Dawning is not perfect day;
    There are truths thou canst not fathom,
      Swaddled in thy robes of clay.
    Rest in hope that if thy circle
      Grow not wider here in Time,
    God's Eternity shall give thee
      Power of vision more sublime.

    Clogged and bedded in the darkness,
      Little germ abide thine hour,
    Thoul't expand in proper season,
      Into blossom, into flower.
    Humble faith alone becomes thee
      In the glooms where thou art lain:
    Bright is the appointed future;
      Wait--thou shalt not wait in vain.

    Cease thy struggling, feeble spirit!
      Fret not at thy prison bars;
    Never shall thy mortal pinions
      Make the circuit of the stars.
    Here on Earth are duties for thee,
      Suited to thine earthly scope;
    Seek them, thou Immortal Spirit--
      God is with thee--work in hope.

My Hands



My hands:
(what is beyond the commands?)


i am a small person
in a small place
here at work,
a dead body in a chair.

not part of what real people
are doing beyond my desk
i'm typing what you tell me
on the keyboard you gave me
because that is what you taught me
to do.

there are no windows.
no birds fly by. there is no wind
save stale breath.
my freedom only a thinking space
between the keyboard and i.

beyond these walls
i am told there are dreams
in a blinding drift
i could never climb,
i could never experience.

my hands type the commands
you taught me.
but it is not my hands.
it is a rivulet
of the common conscience
on a commonplace stick.

i can’t do this
out of human nature
because i am asked
to exceed human nature
in doing it.

i am an unnatural seed
in this dead-root chair.
my roots are still young
and barely under the surface.



Mark David Jordan, 2011
SOUNDS FROM HOME
By Alice B. Neal

Last night I dreamed of thee, beloved!
   I held that tiny hand,--
Encircled by my clasping arm
   Once more I saw thee stand,--
The blush so faint, yet fairly traced,
   Rose to thy changing cheek--
As when upon thy brows were placed
   Farewells I could not speak.

Thine eyes were filled with softened light,
   But welcomes now I read,
As to my heart, by love's fond sight.
   I gently drew thy head;
And oh, so eloquent were they--
   So full of earnest truth,--
I knew what fain thy heart would say,
   The promise of thy youth.

I knew that thou hadst faithful been
   To vows of long ago:
That speeding time, and changing scene,
   No change in thee could show,
That absence had but bound thy love
   More firmly to its choice--
It needed not one word to prove,
   One sound of thy loved voice.

Yes, silent was that long embrace,
   Though tears flowed fast and free.
As gazing down in that dear face,
   I read thy love for me;
And thought of all the lonely hours
   When I had wildly yearned
To press thee thus unto my heart,
   And feel my kiss returned.

Those midnight hours! by sea and land!
   How heavily they sped!
Sometimes upon a surf-beat strand
   My weary feet would tread,
And when the stars looked calmly down
   From cloudless foreign skies--
Their soft light seemed a radiance thrown
   From these pure, earnest eyes.

'Twas but a dream! the light breeze swept
   Soft touches o'er my brow;
The spray's cold kiss my lips had met,
   Oh, still afar art thou!
'Twas but a dream! and yet I heard
   Thy murmured--"_Art_ thou come!"--
Then woke, to feel my spirit stirred
   With these dear "sounds from home."
DUTY
By Alfred B. Street

In changeless green, and grasping close the rock,
    Up towers the mountain pine. The Winter blast
    May like an ocean surge be on it cast;
Proud doth it stand, and stern defy the shock,
    Unchanged in verdure and unbroke in crest,
    Although wild throes may agitate its breast,
And clinging closer when the storm is gone,
Tired, but unbent upon its granite throne,
Not always doth it wrestle with the storm!
    Skies smile; spring flowers make soft its iron roots;
Its sturdy boughs are kissed by breezes warm;
    And birds gleam in and out with joyous flutes.
Duty proves not its strength unless defied,
But pleasure has it, too, bright as have hearts untried.

My comments:  I love the last two lines of this poem

Stabbed



Stabbed: (disserted, empty, sated)

Foreboding & Forgotten.
It's 2:00 AM & the streets are disserted.
Rain from an earlier downpour
makes its lonely yet soothing cascade
down into a street drain.

I walk as a zombie on vodka.
I think one foot is falling
in front of the other.
Am I who I say I am?

I know I am
as dense as air tonight.
The only sound my footfalls
on wet concrete.
They make a statement
that I am out here
guarding the sleeping
who do not know me.

It is 2:30 AM & the park is empty.
I cut across its wet grass,
my footfalls are drowned.
Now I am I,
a stalker with secrets.

Startled into pause,
he lay in a pool of blood
near the dark swing set.
The sweet land
falling up to his open eye.
All was still
except the sound of mist.

I rested at the swing
& told him my story,
how I had pretended
& never felt right about it,
how I wandered as a stranger
even to myself.
I watched him listening.
Determined.

Kneeling down
I smelled fresh blood
oozing from his wounds.
I whispered goodnight
into his ear tenderly.
He looked willingly absent.
I appreciated his honesty.

It is 4:00 AM & I walked sated.
I walked out of the park
into the band of light.
The stranger stabbed
& forgotten.



Mark David Jordan, 2011

The Internet



The Internet
is Empty


My head sagged to the left,
a line of caramel candy drool
fell
from my mouth to my tie.
The internet is empty.

My hand
pulled by a thread
wrote my opinions on topics,
my entries in the social world

The wheat was growing
too thin
in the field where I stood,
empty of color and blending
into the sky.

Looking back
at an unfamiliar house,
it was leaning to the right
and lacking any definition.

A man came out
and stepped into a stream
passing in front.
He yelled something to me
as a white paper
drifted down his hand
to float away.

I could not hear.
My distance grew with no motion.
I shifted backward
and the man became
tiny.
I stepped into the stream
that circled to me.

I looked down
to a soggy piece of paper
floating by.
Reading the type,
all it said was
"This is the answer
to a thousand conversations."

The paper drifted from my hand
and floated away.

I lifted my stiff head.
There was a caramel stain on my tie.
It was a Rorschach pattern.
The internet is empty.


Mark David Jordan, 2011

Wake up: (slap)

 
 
We were on a directionless bullet train,
lovers exposed to fast want,
bone thin on the intellect of our own affair,
we hid behind the edge of mature time.

Dangling unskilled between our breasts,
we never took the time to see ahead
of our own bodies freely exposed to each other,
in uncompromising saltiness and sex.

In our dim lit room they called us
the unenlightened, but we drank wine
and making a mockery of the morning and
evening we relished in unenlighten-ness.

Overstuffed with our own egos,
the jar cracked and the ingredients ran
out onto the floor,
     -leaving the mold behind.

If time was to teach us, let it try,
but time will teach accidently, bluntly,
we did not travel with time in one direction,
our polestar was only two heart's touching,
refusal was the strength of the young.

Yet, time passes even for lovers,
imbibing on the juices of passion, we forgot
passion's danger, when it twisted into passiveness
for other things. passiveness twisted into restlessness,
time became small.

We became small ourselves, too small
to see what hearts felt fading to a singular point,
we paused to breath, we took a breath to pause.

Becoming larger than our hearts, out of necessity,
lovers with no desire to part,
we had to strangle each other, sit on each
other until the breath was gone.

Struggling for air, we blocked love
from going in different directions,
our hearts still beating near each other
but not together, passion in metamorphosis.

We gathered the knowledge we needed
while we were young and naive,
the best endings were comfort without risk.
we sat still over time consuming the juice
of desires, reaching fullness.

Overstuffed with our own familiarity,
we cracked and ran out onto the floor
     -leaving the mold behind.



Mark David Jordan, 1990's, revised 2011

Awaken: (into this)

 
 
The damned alarm clock sounds again.
     -It is beautiful music 101.5
waking the dead
from the land of pleasant dreams.

I sit on the edge of the bed
     -dizzy with morning sinuses.
Is it really a new day again?
Already I hate the day's events.

I try to get my bearings a little at a time.
     -I'm overcome with flashbacks from the past
but I'm already organizing today's life
hoping it is all a dream within a dream.

I can't get the justification for this.
     -I wonder what it is like to be dead.
The only thing motivating me at the moment
is that I have to take a bad piss.

I look down at my hands in the dark.
     -They could be a black man's hands.
     -They could be a hispanic man's hands.
The morning fog slowly burns away,
delirium becomes necessity even as I fight it.

I'm in this half-baked life of my own doing.
     -A bird on the roof chirps outside my window.
Why was I born into this body and not the bird's?
This is no existence for an animal.

I rise and walk into the half-lit hallway, coughing.
     -This is my great achievement.
I see the familiar crack in the plaster.
I've reached the same spot I was at yesterday.


Mark David Jordan, 2011

Love: (an echo)

 
 
I could call you my love
     -and be right.
But would you know it
before you woke in the morning.

     -The window is open.
I was alive before you,
and now wind passes over my body
like I am not.

We.   You are open.
I repose as one mass.
     -I know I am here.

I am lying naked.
     -it is on a sidewalk,
gleaming wet.   stillness.
Raindrops drip on my body
trying to avoid their own pain.
Each one makes a tiny noise.
     -It is the echo light.

Steam rises from the concrete.
Until I met you,
     -the grass was not viridian,
     -the night sky was not dark,
     -the spring breeze did not calm.

Your misty breath.   Hotter,
hugs my body where I least expect it.
I was dead for now
     -but wanting it.
I stood solid and dripping.
Freezing.   Hidden with chills.

The cold cloud stuck,
on the echo lights between.
Each space in its own self-importance.
I was glistening to the music.
     -The rising sun. warmth.

My body dried into the sheets.   evaporated.
Dried human cells flaking off,
the last of the tiny lights.
It was dark on my skin
at the border to the brighter air.
     -no echo.

Your eyelashes twitched in knowledge.
     -I called you "my love".
Sunshine fingerlings peeked over
my bare belly onto yours.
     -and was right.


Mark David Jordan, 2011

I Am



I am: I am somebody
you aren't


I am somebody.
     -I thought I was somebody
     until somebody told me every body said that.

I did those things
     -drinking & cumming.
Like others I came to tell you why
and be there for you as
somebody.
I wanted to be somebody
you didn’t know.
But new.

Being somebody
     -is something.

Wrapping my hand around your face
I felt a vein beating in your forehead.
You are alive.      somebody.

Two people who are wrapped
around each other
     -are every body.
Only two parts forming the whole.

The air was thick
     -with old oil and recent dust.
While two legs ending     one.
One was beginning.
Somebody screams
Some body creates.
The blues of death is something.
Lonely emptiness          two.

Being somebody
     -is something.

Everybody is somebody beneath the other body.



Mark David Jordan, 2011

Group



Group & Think

A man who sits by me in the office
   -won't shut up.

All day long he is gabbing
about all the trips he has taken,
all the problems he has solved.

On occasion he leaves his desk,
   -not often,
and ends up in the office of a boss
next to my cube prison.
   -Talking.
It is gossip about people they have in common.

He doesn't have a nose.
He tried to blow it off
in a botched suicide attempt,
or so people around me talking have said.
Fuckers.

I went to ask my boss
if I am suppose to get any work done.
She is not at her desk, off to a verbal presentation.
I just sit and stare at the wall.
At least I am not talking.


Mark David Jordan, 2010