light: (deflowered the i)

in my own time

i departed
in the best of conditions
& sought refuge in a wood
where light always entered
peacefully to me
through trees,
(the top was not visible).

here were the stones
one each i left in
remembrance of the
sins i bought from
this very spot
& deflowered the i
& them.

i lay down
in the soggy
half-green used carpet
& rolled around
dirtying
my clothes & thoughts
in defiance.

i wiped moldy leaves into
my face
& head
to clean the 2nd life
away.
i shoved rocks down my pants
& sticks up my pant legs
so my appendages were heavy
with sweat & stiffness.

this was me, stains
blending in with my
flesh,
i threw up my hands full of
new earth & it descended
into my eyes,
the pain (unbearable).

prostrate in the dirt
i ground my selfishness
down deep until
i felt my smallness
fuck the Earth &
it fucked back.

together with the soil
& freedom the sun
warmed my face when i
rolled overlaid
the packed stillness
white with dirt,
this was the warmth i
envied, the beast quenched.

i found refuge in these woods
where light blinded me.

Mark David Jordan, 2011